This blog entry is adapted from the first devotion in the book “Devotions on Diabetes: A 30-Day Journey to Anchor Your Soul“. Five free chapters are available for download HERE.
May 5, 1992. I remember it like it was yesterday.
My mother noticed the symptoms early on. The overnight trips to the bathroom. The tired, unmotivated (and grumpy) attitude. The unquenchable thirst. The weight loss. She had a suspicion it was type 1 diabetes. She knew a child who had recently been diagnosed. We checked in to the doctor’s office for a blood sugar check, and her suspicion was confirmed.
I grew up in a small town, so the pediatrician referred us to the endocrinologists at Riley Hospital for Children in Indianapolis. We gathered some things from home and made the two-hour drive that day.
My dad, my mom, and I spent the next three days learning what life would look like moving forward. It was a lot to take in. It changed our thought process on food and how we looked at exercise, we learned to count carbs and give shots, and we always carried insulin and sugar with us wherever we went from that day on.
Diabetes doesn’t run in my family, and my parents didn’t know of anyone who dealt with it either. I didn’t have any friends with type 1. And while the doctors did an amazing job of checking in on us for the first several weeks, we were fairly isolated in this new journey.
IS THIS YOU?
If this is you, if you are relating personally to anything I’m saying, I just want to encourage you that you are not alone. I have been there myself, and I know it’s hard. You are likely learning a ton, dealing with grief, asking loads of questions, and second guessing everything you’re doing. It’s all very new, and it’s ok. Find your people, do your best, and give yourself grace.
More than anything, you are not alone because God is always with you – whether you experienced a diagnosis yesterday or decades ago.
Consider the story of Hagar in Genesis chapter 16. (If you’ve not reviewed this story in a while, it’s a great read.) In short, God has promised Abram and Sarai many descendants, but that’s yet to come true. So Sarai suggests her servant Hagar have a baby with Abram instead. Hagar conceives a child, Sarai starts to mistreat her, and Hagar runs away.
So here she is, pregnant and all alone in the wilderness. Feeling uncertain and vulnerable, she is visited by an angel of the Lord. After receiving the angel’s message, she calls God “El Roi” or “the God who sees.”
TWO THINGS TO REMEMBER
- Now, I think it’s important the note that God doesn’t immediately fix Hagar’s problem. In fact, He tells her to return to it. But He recognizes her suffering, and she knows that He sees her. And if God is with her in the wilderness, He will be with her when she returns to Sarai. While she felt unimportant to Sarai, she now knows she is important to God. And she can now face her difficult situation with His strength.
- We can face our toughest battles and most challenging days with His strength as well, knowing that God sees us too, friend. He hears your prayers. He sees your suffering. He knows your heart.
My hope and my prayer for you is this: even though there will be times of feeling totally overwhelmed with all that is diabetes, this blog would be an opportunity for you to personally encounter the God who sees you.
God, thank You for this reminder and perspective today. Thank You for this story of Hagar and the lessons I can learn from it. In this world where things can make me feel isolated and unimportant and alone, I know You see me. Help me to remember that every day. Remind me I am made in Your image and with a purpose, and that diabetes doesn’t get to define that – You do. Thank You for Your love and faithfulness. Amen.
For further reading: Genesis 16, Psalm 33:18