BY BRANDY DAVENPORT, CO-BLOGGER
I grew up in a home in which everything that didn’t go as planned had to be someone else’s fault. Big or small, it didn’t matter. But it had to be pinned on something or someone.
Blaming helps us surround the situation with control. It makes us think we have a handle on the problem.
WHY DO WE PLAY THE BLAME GAME?
It is so much easier to play the blame game than to stay quiet, or submit the problem up to God. Isn’t it? But if we were to submit all things to God, it could be a beautiful opportunity for growth. Don’t you think?
Reasoning That Causes Blame
This idea of blaming was a learned coping mechanism for me. Therefore, I believe it was natural for me to place blame for my son’s type 1 diagnosis. Except this time, I placed the blame on myself. I must have somehow caused this terrible thing to come about, I thought.
I would scour my brain for pregnancy faults and all my misguided decisions during that time. Maybe it was because our family was quickly uprooted early on in our pregnancy. It had to have been the stress of those six months that caused this disease. Or maybe it was because I had gestational diabetes while I was pregnant.
But I thought it was most likely caused by my sinful past and me running away from God in my youth. Therefore, I believed this was my punishment — to watch my son endure this chronic disease.
MISDIRECTED BLAME
All of this blaming was misdirected. The root cause of suffering is due to the fall of man shown in Genesis 3. Lets look at what took place after Eve took that infamous first bite.
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Shame and embarrassment entered the world right then and there. The instant they sinned. Let’s read on about their first encounter with God:
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Enter the blame game. First, Adam blamed Eve. Then Eve blamed the serpent. (The serpent blamed no one, ironically.) And we learn that our sin reveals our shame.
No More Need for the Blame Game
Whether shame in our behavior, or shame in an outcome, Jesus died for it all. He took all our sin and shame and paid for it on the cross. What started as an entry point of a lie, He turns into truth! Therefore, there is no more need for blaming. It has all been paid in full.
Another story of blame
We are reminded of this blame game in John chapter 9 when we read the story of a man born blind. (This is a powerful passage of scripture that prompted Kaycee to write the Devotions on Diabetes book that started this blog in the first place.)
In this story in John 9, Jesus and His disciples come upon a blind man who had been blind from birth. They asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
Jesus replies in the most profound way only he can: with truth!
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
He then performed an amazing miracle and healed this man who had been blind his whole life! His healing was a testimony to all who knew him.
The Blame Game denies the truth
Some needed to see miracles to believe, but we know not everyone is healed. We know that no matter what we suffer here on earth Jesus has already redeemed in heaven. Someday we will be given a new body when we are reunited with Him in eternity.
But until then, we can show our true strength because of our weakness, and praise Him in spite of our suffering. That is the truth Jesus brought.
Blaming is denying this truth and creates a fault line between us and the Lord. It shows we don’t trust His plan.
So now when I am tempted to blame someone or something for how things in my life are going, I remember the garden. I remember how Jesus came to reverse what had been done. He hung on that cross, He blamed no one, He took all my sin unto Himself, and He paid my debt.
REFLECTION
Do you ever default to blame when something doesn’t turn out the way you would have planned?
Think of a time that you blamed someone and later realized it didn’t change or help the outcome?
In what way next time instead of blaming can you lift up the situation to the Lord so that you can learn and grow from the situation?
Dear Lord, we often times are quick to blame others for things that are out of our control to feel more in control. It is has been in our nature to blame since the garden. Please help us to realize that all the blame has been covered by You on the cross, and that we are free in Christ. Amen.
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